What is Enlightenment?

Enlightenment, for me, is a quest to return to a state that I once was when I was born. That sounds strange to me, but I believe it to be true. I used to have what I desire. And as society and family taught me their ways, I strayed from it, only to realize this later. I think it was after my brain surgery when I was 22, about 14 years ago. I thought to myself, wow, I was dead inside before I learned to treasure the moment. But I forgot this feeling only to come back to it about 4 years ago after a spiritual seminar.

Now I've had family beat me down for calling or comparing myself to enlightened. They seemed to think of it as a title of superiority, like Manager or CEO. But I see it as just a different path, but nonetheless one needed to move on to the next level of existence. Kind of like passing a test and graduating. You flunk 1st grade and you repeat it. And so if you do not attain a certain level of spirituality, well then you repeat life here on earth as a mortal. In book "The Art of Happiness", The Dalai Lama said at the moment of death, if you are not at peace, well then you repeat life here on earth, sometimes as a lower animal or insect depending on how your last visit went.

The only thing you can take with you after death is your spirituality. I believe this in my heart to be true. So why focus on the physical things during our stay on earth? So we can be buried with them? Do we get to take our BMWs with us to the next life? Our washboard abs will be surely be gold after we die.

In that same book, he talks of our paths and religion. He is the spiritual leader of a nation, yet he believes that everybody should choose their own religion. They are all very much the same at the core. I think this is amazing. Pretty much all religions I know of state you will go to hell if you don't worship our God in our church. This tells me that this man is at a very high level of being. But this is "my truth" and will not fit for many people.

So on my path to enlightenment, what are some things that I have learned?

1. Do not give unsolicited advice as it has little or no value. Why do people who win the lottery always end up poor or worse off? They are not READY for the money otherwise they would already have it. If you feel you have something to offer, ask if the person would like some advice.
   
2. There is no need to justify your actions or behavior to others. For instance, my Mother calls me and wants me to come to Easter dinner. I thank her and say that I can't make it. She inevitably asks "Why not?" My choices are just that, my choices. I do not have to explain myself. I have free will and do so as "I" choose.
3. A more reliable method for inner contentment “is not to have what we want, but rather to want and appreciate what we have. ” I have everything I need. Believe that, live that.
4. Have compassion for all. I used to believe that some people should not be on this earth, like Bin Laden or my Father for instance. But now my compassion for them has changed that feeling of anger and hatred into love and I sleep better at night.
5. “The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. Rarely do members of one’s family grow up under the same roof. “ This is a quote from the book Illusions, The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach. Learning this lesson what extremely difficult to put it lightly, and proves to be hard even as I think about it now. But it is part of respecting yourself. Most of the damage we suffer as a child comes from our family, mainly our parents. And odds are, the reason you are reading this is because of them. You are starting to question it.
6. Limit your exposure to the media and negative influences. We are what we eat, and we are what our senses take in. Watch 1 hour of the news everyday for a year and you may believe that the world is an evil place. You'll be fearful and have nightmares of people trying to kill you. Don't fly on planes because of terrorists! Don't go to Mexico because of banditos! Don't go outside, there may be lightning! These things are SOMEBODY ELSE'S NEWS, NOT YOURS, NOT MINE. It did not happen to you. And subjecting ourselves to repetitive negativity makes it ours. 3 planes crashed because of terrorism, out of the millions of flights and what happened to the industry? It crashed too because of the fear. A .0001% chance of death is fine with me. In fact, driving is way more dangerous, washing the dishes and sitting on the toilet too.
7. Do the impossible. How many inventors out there had somebody telling them they were insane? I know lots of people out there that think I am crazy and are trying to fix me. That tells me that I am doing something right. :)
   
8. Forgive yourself and forgive others. This topic is so huge, I cannot begin to even start other than telling you that not following this golden rule, will probably lead to your death and it is why you and others you know got sick or are sick now.
9. The people that get under your skin, or drive you crazy, are the ones that have the most to teach you. Why did it bother you? They represent somebody from your past you have not come to terms with.
10. You are either growing or decaying, up or down. The way I judge this for myself is whether or not I've had butterflies in my stomach within the last week or so. This means I had some sort of Epiphany or revelation. I go up and down with this one but there is more up than down for me. Also feeling uncomfortable in a situation means I got out of my box a little further.
    
11. Children have more to teach us than we do them. Let us not break their spirits. Study them! Why do they cry when something doesn't go their way yet minutes later they are over it? I believe they follow all the rules I've outlined here naturally.
12. Meditate daily. I find myself breaking this one a lot. But when I do meditate daily, my growth is amazing. I have visions of the past, present, and future. My life is more fulfilled.
13. Question everything you've learned, everything you see and hear, everything I say! When we are young, we learn from adults and many times do not question things because we trust. My Dad once told me while we were on a trip, that this semi truck trailer had a giant under the huge tarp. So one day as a teenager I saw a similar truck and thought a giant was under the tarp. But then the questioning teenager said "I don't think so!" We are prone to trust people we look up to. But what if later in life we learn not to trust this person. Well we have a LOT of code to rewrite in our brain. How do we find it all? Only by examining everything we are doing in our day. Why am I showering 17 times a day? Well my family did that but I don't think that is right for me anymore.
14. Laugh everyday because life is hilarious. I would choose laughter over money any day.
15. Your relationship with somebody is just that, your relationship. It has nothing to do with my relationship with that person. Just because they called you a poopoo head and stole your lunch money, doesn't mean I should hate them now. That happened to you, not me. And after a while I am not going to want to hear about your problems with that person anymore. You will not poison my relationship with that person.
16. Set expectations for your relationships because unspoken expectations are future disappointments.
    
17. My biggest growth has come from my biggest pain. This has absolutely been my choice to learn from these situations. But I know that my best moments were when I overcame. And after that 10 story roadblock is cleared, I know a 20 story one is on the horizon and I welcome it. Bring it on!
18. As I grow, so grows the spiritual gap between I and those that are decaying. Do I want to spend everyday with my old friends at the bar? I quit drinking because I am an alcoholic and it didn't serve me. It's not a good idea for me to do that. Yet I know everybody that crosses my path has something magnificent to teach me.
19. Listen with your heart and do not judge. Do not tell the person what they did wrong or even what to do. Even if they ask for advice, tread lightly. This is especially important in times of emotional pain. Just listen with compassion and give comfort. Because if you don't you are just attacking them in their time of need.

Wow, 19 things I've found here. And to think in August of 2006, I found the 1st one. I wrote these in the order that I discovered them. It was a natural progression for me. They are my truths. My wife is on the same path as me which is so amazing. She has taught me many of these lessons, as well as my Aunt and Uncle. I used to think the world should follow these rules, but I was wrong. It is for me, and it is possible it is for others too, but I cannot ever know that. To tell others how to live their lives is playing God. And when I meet him, I wouldn't want him to say "John, you've been playing God haven't you."

Pay Respect To

What is the first thing you think of when you hear the term "pay respect"? For me, I think of the dead. Pay your respects for the person who just died. Why is it time to respect them now that they are dead? Shouldn't we have done that while they were alive? Now that this person is no longer of this earth, lets bow our heads and respect the person that they were. It's just like holidays and birthdays. Lets appreciate this person on this set day by buying them a present. Buy the hallmark card that says something that we can't.

This is total nonsense if you ask me. But it's "conventional" wisdom I suppose.

Now I ask myself what is the second thing I think of to "pay respect" for. That would be pay respect for your elders. For me, just being older than me doesn't earn you some prize. Sure, you've been around longer than I and have seen more, but I've met a lot of older people who lived is such a small box, they'd totally lost touch with growth and only knew decay. Try shrinking spiritually for 30 years and see if you deserve to be honored.

Honestly, the young and innocent deserve to be respected more than most. They are pure of heart and mind and see life clearly. They are capable of anything and see right through roadblocks. But after being told what not to do thousands of times in their early years, they conform to the standard of decay. Grow up just like your parents, do what they say, not as they do, etc., etc.. Get a 9-5 job and work for retirement.

Once you start to question things, life takes a sharp turn. My life is a lot like the movie The Matrix. I am Neo and have seen things how they really are after I followed the white rabbit down the hole. There is a system of conformity in place to control people. Emotions must not be too high, or too low or they think chaos will follow. After I ate the red pill, there was no going back for me. I have seen people take the red pill then spit it out. They were not ready to see things as they really are. Most are not. It is a LOT to handle and the transition is the toughest thing you will ever endure. But eventually, in my experience 5-10 years, you will understand that suffering will come to aid your spiritual development. It is a difficult thing, but a blessing in disguise. Welcome it and take it on.

A friend of a friend is a serious alcoholic and smoker. He got lung cancer and was told he could not drink or smoke anymore. He couldn't handle reality without his vices and tried to end it all by overdosing. When my Father is sober, he begins to make changes in his life for the better because reality is setting in. Unfortunately, he can only handle it for so long and reverts back to the bottle.

So I believe most people can't handle reality and would want to be reinserted back into the Matrix with a wiped memory. Most people will take the convenient, easy, short term choice, rather than the difficult long term one. But it's the long term choice that will have the long term happiness.

Wow, 3 posts in one day. Guess I had something to say...

Vices and Virtues

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues. - Abraham Lincoln

Pay Respect, The New Blog

If there is one thing I know, I deserve respect. Disrespect me and here is the door, it's as simple as that. Aretha Franklin said it so very well in her song.

Now to respect me means to:

Honor my choices.
Have a willingness to show appreciation and consideration for me.
Recognize the worth and quality of who I am and the choices I make.

In my life, it is very difficult to find people who respect me. They tend to tell me what to do, who to be with, basically, to act like them. Well guess what, I am not you, nor will I ever be you. I am me and I have a choice. I can make a choice to jump off the cliff if I choose. I will never learn and grow if my decisions are made for me. I need to run into walls so that I may learn to climb over them. I need to fall into pits so that I may learn to climb out of them. If I need your advice, I will ask for it. Is it just me, or do you get bothered by people that tell you what to do with your life all the time?

So I searched for a name for sometime for this blog. Blogger has 100s of millions of blogs so it was difficult, but I found one, Pay Respect. What this means is if you want to be a part of my life, you need to come to the table with something. Pay me respect and I will do the same for you. In fact, I will respect you regardless of what you do to me. I will honor who you are. But if I do not get respect in return, our relationship will be short lived.

I believe everybody has something to teach me. Just because they are being difficult doesn't mean that I run the other way. But my life is too short to accept being emotionally sucker punched all the time. If you see me making a big mistake, ask me if I want advice. If I am willing to accept it, I will say "sure". If I don't, I will say "no thank you." And if you try to give it to me anyways, well here is the door. You have not paid me the respect I deserve and need.

Some may read this and think I am angry or bitter. Well, my truth is I know what I want and what I deserve. I know I need to breathe oxygen and when you hold my head underwater, I am going to fight it with my life.

This blog is going to be about my life trials and tribulations and the rules I discover to live by to make it flow in a upward direction. I want to grow as a person. I want to live an outstanding life and make an impact on this earth that will never be forgotten.